Let's Get this Party Started
8 years ago today I gained new life in Jesus. I have always remembered the day, and the hour because it was such a special time in my life, and still is. Many think I am weird for being so over the top at celebrating my spiritual birthday, but why should I not be? Why do you think Jesus wouldn't want me to? It is after all the day I became His, forever. The day He adopted me into His family.
I think when I have children I will always try to celebrate and remember their spiritual birthday's. It's a big deal, and I would want my children to always remember and think about how good God is in their life.
I may be only 8 years physically into being a Christian, but I believe in my heart that I am far wiser and maturer in my relationship with Jesus than those who have been Christians for 20 or more years. It's very sad that people who claim to be Christians will never really pursue a relationship with their Savior. It shouldn't be that way.
So here is the story, I remember it as yesterday, this is what I celebrate:
My Testimony
One Wednesday night sitting in my dad’s office the Lord started convicting me, and nudging me to call on him for help and to talk to him. Finally I put my head in my hands and cried out to God. At the age of 13, November 20, 2002, I dedicated my life to following Christ, and accepted him as my Savior, my rescuer! I remember that day very well. After being at home listening to a Michael W. Smith DVD Mrs. Patsy and Sonny had loaned us and the song “I Give You my Heart” had come on and it convicted me. The words just spoke to my heart:
This is my desire to honor you,
Lord with all my heart, I worship you.
All that is within me, I give you praise, all that I adore is in you.
Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul
I live for you alone, every breath that I take
Every moment I’m awake, Lord have your way in me.
At that moment of hearing those words I dropped everything I was doing and rushed to my dads office. Those words kept playing in my head over and over, those words were my prayer at that moment, and it still is my prayer to this day. I had a desire to honor God with my whole heart and life. I wanted him to have my whole heart and make me a new person. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states that, “Those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun.” I found a tract in my dad’s office with “A New Beginning” written on the front. I needed a new beginning, a fresh start. I knew all of what was said in there, I was a pastor’s daughter, I’ve heard it my whole life, but at this point in my life I needed a rescuer, not just the benefit of the doubt that I was going to heaven. The tract said to let God take your life and do a complete U-turn. That sounded good to me, anything to get me pointed in a different direction than I was going. I surrendered to God, I prayed for him to forgive me for the way I had been acting, and for him to help me forgive others that have done me wrong. And to ask forgiveness of my family for doing them wrong. I wanted him to come into my life and make me a new person, to rescue me and to help me. I remember when I said “Amen” and lifted my head; a huge weight was lifted off me. It was the most relieving thing I have ever felt. I felt like I could stand a little taller, hold my head a little higher and expect great things.
MY CARDBOARD TESTIMONY
Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.
Psalm 51:8, 10-12
I wanted to share some of my story with you, some of you may know it, I'm pretty open about my life and what I have been through, there are somethings I don't like to talk about and God is working in my life to help me overcome those fears. I hear a lot of preachers tell you to forget your past, that we shouldn't think about it because God has saved us from it and we are to move forward. I've really struggled to accept that point of view. I've prayed about it, and I have come to the conclusion that our past plays a major role in how we reach people for Jesus, how we can relate to people, and show them empathy. Why would I ever want to forget where God brought me from?
The me before Jesus changed me was not who I am today. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!" I'm so thankful for that verse and the hope it brought me. Before Jesus, I was a pretty bad kid and even in the years after I accepted Him, I wasn't perfect. The things listed on the cardboard doesn't even begin to describe who I was. I guess that's why I'm writing a book. I won't go into all that I did or dealt with, if you want to know just ask me, I have great stories. HAHA! I will tell you now that everything I went through I am thankful for, and if I had to do it over you better believe I would do it again.
I've already talked some about my cutting. But I kind of want to talk about the whole suicide thing for a minute. God taught me a lot about His power and authority through this time. I learned God didn't goof when He made me, He didn't goof when he made you. We aren't the author of life, the only One who gives us life is. He both gives and takes away. When I take that decision into my own hands, that's like playing God, and that is not very smart. My Biblical hero, Job, helped me through this dark time in my life. I cling to the verse found in Job 19:25, "I know my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth!"
My anger issues came from a lot of different circumstances and events that happened along the way in life. I tend to have a bad habit of holding stuff in. I have a lot of trust issues and things of that nature. Anger gives the devil a foothold in your life. I had a bad mouth because of my anger toward everything, I thought un-pure thoughts, I was plain rebellious, disobedient...the list can go on.
Wow, are you getting depressed? Me too. Before you leave though, I have good news. COME BACK!
Jesus Saved me! He began to change me.
It also says in Psalm 51 that, "The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, Oh God, you will not despise." I was so tired of living the way I was. I was in a pit, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I needed a rescuer, and who better than Jesus? I was so broken before Him, my desire was to please Him, to honor Him. I cried out for Him to take the broken pieces of my life and make me into a better person. Romans 12:1-2 states, "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." I wrote in the margin of my Bible after that verse, "Thank You Lord that you are changing me, and that I'm growing spiritually more and more each day. I worship you, and love you!"
Pretty radical life change huh? YEAH! I've become one of those people I hated to see coming towards me. I'm one of those Bible loving, Jesus Freak who is caught up in my Saviors love. God is good.
What is your cardboard story? Feel free to share with me your life story; I'd love to hear it!
"When they were together for the last time they asked, "Master, are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel now? Is this the time?"
He told them, "You don't get to know the time. Timing is the Father's business. What you'll get is the Holy Spirit. And when the Holy Spirit comes on you, you will be able to be my witnesses in Jerusalem, all over Judea and Samaria, even to the ends of the world."
Acts 1:6-8
I think when I have children I will always try to celebrate and remember their spiritual birthday's. It's a big deal, and I would want my children to always remember and think about how good God is in their life.
I may be only 8 years physically into being a Christian, but I believe in my heart that I am far wiser and maturer in my relationship with Jesus than those who have been Christians for 20 or more years. It's very sad that people who claim to be Christians will never really pursue a relationship with their Savior. It shouldn't be that way.
So here is the story, I remember it as yesterday, this is what I celebrate:
My Testimony
One Wednesday night sitting in my dad’s office the Lord started convicting me, and nudging me to call on him for help and to talk to him. Finally I put my head in my hands and cried out to God. At the age of 13, November 20, 2002, I dedicated my life to following Christ, and accepted him as my Savior, my rescuer! I remember that day very well. After being at home listening to a Michael W. Smith DVD Mrs. Patsy and Sonny had loaned us and the song “I Give You my Heart” had come on and it convicted me. The words just spoke to my heart:
This is my desire to honor you,
Lord with all my heart, I worship you.
All that is within me, I give you praise, all that I adore is in you.
Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul
I live for you alone, every breath that I take
Every moment I’m awake, Lord have your way in me.
At that moment of hearing those words I dropped everything I was doing and rushed to my dads office. Those words kept playing in my head over and over, those words were my prayer at that moment, and it still is my prayer to this day. I had a desire to honor God with my whole heart and life. I wanted him to have my whole heart and make me a new person. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states that, “Those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun.” I found a tract in my dad’s office with “A New Beginning” written on the front. I needed a new beginning, a fresh start. I knew all of what was said in there, I was a pastor’s daughter, I’ve heard it my whole life, but at this point in my life I needed a rescuer, not just the benefit of the doubt that I was going to heaven. The tract said to let God take your life and do a complete U-turn. That sounded good to me, anything to get me pointed in a different direction than I was going. I surrendered to God, I prayed for him to forgive me for the way I had been acting, and for him to help me forgive others that have done me wrong. And to ask forgiveness of my family for doing them wrong. I wanted him to come into my life and make me a new person, to rescue me and to help me. I remember when I said “Amen” and lifted my head; a huge weight was lifted off me. It was the most relieving thing I have ever felt. I felt like I could stand a little taller, hold my head a little higher and expect great things.
MY CARDBOARD TESTIMONY
Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.
Psalm 51:8, 10-12
I wanted to share some of my story with you, some of you may know it, I'm pretty open about my life and what I have been through, there are somethings I don't like to talk about and God is working in my life to help me overcome those fears. I hear a lot of preachers tell you to forget your past, that we shouldn't think about it because God has saved us from it and we are to move forward. I've really struggled to accept that point of view. I've prayed about it, and I have come to the conclusion that our past plays a major role in how we reach people for Jesus, how we can relate to people, and show them empathy. Why would I ever want to forget where God brought me from?
The me before Jesus changed me was not who I am today. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!" I'm so thankful for that verse and the hope it brought me. Before Jesus, I was a pretty bad kid and even in the years after I accepted Him, I wasn't perfect. The things listed on the cardboard doesn't even begin to describe who I was. I guess that's why I'm writing a book. I won't go into all that I did or dealt with, if you want to know just ask me, I have great stories. HAHA! I will tell you now that everything I went through I am thankful for, and if I had to do it over you better believe I would do it again.
I've already talked some about my cutting. But I kind of want to talk about the whole suicide thing for a minute. God taught me a lot about His power and authority through this time. I learned God didn't goof when He made me, He didn't goof when he made you. We aren't the author of life, the only One who gives us life is. He both gives and takes away. When I take that decision into my own hands, that's like playing God, and that is not very smart. My Biblical hero, Job, helped me through this dark time in my life. I cling to the verse found in Job 19:25, "I know my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth!"
My anger issues came from a lot of different circumstances and events that happened along the way in life. I tend to have a bad habit of holding stuff in. I have a lot of trust issues and things of that nature. Anger gives the devil a foothold in your life. I had a bad mouth because of my anger toward everything, I thought un-pure thoughts, I was plain rebellious, disobedient...the list can go on.
Wow, are you getting depressed? Me too. Before you leave though, I have good news. COME BACK!
Jesus Saved me! He began to change me.
It also says in Psalm 51 that, "The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, Oh God, you will not despise." I was so tired of living the way I was. I was in a pit, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I needed a rescuer, and who better than Jesus? I was so broken before Him, my desire was to please Him, to honor Him. I cried out for Him to take the broken pieces of my life and make me into a better person. Romans 12:1-2 states, "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." I wrote in the margin of my Bible after that verse, "Thank You Lord that you are changing me, and that I'm growing spiritually more and more each day. I worship you, and love you!"
Pretty radical life change huh? YEAH! I've become one of those people I hated to see coming towards me. I'm one of those Bible loving, Jesus Freak who is caught up in my Saviors love. God is good.
What is your cardboard story? Feel free to share with me your life story; I'd love to hear it!
"When they were together for the last time they asked, "Master, are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel now? Is this the time?"
He told them, "You don't get to know the time. Timing is the Father's business. What you'll get is the Holy Spirit. And when the Holy Spirit comes on you, you will be able to be my witnesses in Jerusalem, all over Judea and Samaria, even to the ends of the world."
Acts 1:6-8
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